Thursday, August 27, 2009

McDonald Adventures

After saying that we would only stay out at the bar till about 11pm, we heard the "last call" warning and hurried out the door. It was 2am and one of my friends wanted McDonald's. We walked over to the golden arches, which might be comforting to some but repulsive to me, and got in line for the drive thru window...on foot. Drivers and their passengers snickered at us as if we were some kind of freaks of humanity. The only thing different about them and us was that they were hiding their fatty selves inside a vehicle, we choose the healthier and more environmental friendly way of taking healthy a fast food restaurant. It was our turn before we knew it! We stood in front of the intercom system and waited for a friendly greeting asking to try some new item that no one ever really wants...nothing. Hmmm. "Maybe a car has to trigger a sensor?" we thought. The three of us spread out over the cement rectangle, about the size of a SUV, and began jumping in various places. The man behind us kept saying that all he wanted was two double cheeseburgers and fries. We told him to wait his turn. "HELLOOOO???" I said to the speaker. No response. I walked up and knocked on it. Still nothing. Rude. The line was getting longer, so we let some cars go ahead of us. I rested my elbow on the intercom speaker and leaned against it while drivers placed their order. They acted as if I wasn't even there, just placed their order and drove away. Annoyed that they were all greeted and served, I tilted my head towards the speaker as the next car drove up and yelled that they were rude for not serving us because we did not have a car. Silence. Then the driver started to place her order, I tried to speak over her into the intercom this time saying that it's discriminatory not to serve someone because they lack a vehicle. All of this, of course, was me being a jack ass. I don't even like McDonald's. But my friends were hungry and I was bored. After trying to fight the good fight we gave in and got ourselves a car.

We pulled up to the intercom system and one of my friends asked if they served those who do not have cars. Some kid who actually makes more money than me and has health insurance (unlike myself) just gave us a simple "no." The ladies ordered their food and we sped off into the night...well, around the corner to where one of my friends lives. They ate their fast food and yearned for more of it's greasy, salty goodness. So back we went!

This time as we approached the parking lot we noticed a man and woman trying to order without a car. They looked frazzled, upset and best of all...drunk. We yelled to them that we tried ordering food without a car and they wouldn't let us. The woman, Nicole, seemed as shocked as we were. There is no sign with a walking pedestrian circled in red with a line through it or a cardboard sign stabbed in the landscape telling customers "pedestrians not permitted" (it is called a "drive thru", but you can walk into a drive-in movie theater). They seemed bummed, let down and like they were losing their buzz. Just then a light bulb went on over my head. "Do you have cash?" I asked the hungry strangers. "Huh? What?" They asked, obviously disoriented from their hunger and lack of respect from the McDonald employees. "Do you have cash?" I asked again. "Yeah, we have cash," they both said. "Well, get in!" I yelled to them. Neither one of them thought twice about getting into an unknown car. Introductions were made quickly. "Curry," the man said. "Are you Indian?" my friend asked him, "cause I am." He ignored her question...which was probably for the better since she was talking about two total different cultures. My other friend was feeling around under the passenger seat while this was going on and yanked out my orthopedic insoles for when I go walking. "What the fuck???" She asked while flopping them in my face. "My insoles!" I screamed in excitement (I had thought I lost them). I snatched the rubbery footprin shapes and tucked them into the visor above my head. I pulled up to the intercom., everyone shouted out their orders. Curry ordered a happy meal. And happy he was. I pulled into a nearby parking space so everyone could get their orders organized and put into the right hands. Our fast food hitchhikers thanked us repeatedly as they left with their food. I asked them to do one thing, "pay it forward."

We stayed in that parking spot for a little while reminiscing about the night. "Is it really after 3?" I asked knowing that I had to be up at 5:30 for work. Next thing we know a man comes jumping out of the bushes next to us and yelling. It was our new friend Curry! We all yelled back to him and how nice it was to meet the both of them. He continued running and yelling down the street till he vanished from our sight. I'm sure he was on some sort of opiate or psychedelic....lucky bastard. Then we heard yells from behind us in the drive thru line. A rather tall drag queen got out of someones passenger seat and strutted to the car behind them. She began yelling and doing some sort of gestures to the men in the car that were yelling. We felt bad for her so we took it upon ourselves to get involved. My friend began yelling at the men to leave the drag queen alone. "No, you be nice!" They yelled back at her. We all looked at one another and laughed at how immature it sounded. Two can play at that game. My friend began a game of repeat. Anything those hate-filled men yelled at us, she yelled it right back. It continued without anyone missing a breath until they got their food and drove off. I let out a sigh and mentioned to my lovely ladies that it was late and that we should all probably call it a night.

It seemed to be enough excitement for one night...and that was all after the bar! We went our separate ways and said goodnight. On my way home I started to become rather worried about the time. If I raced home and went right to sleep, I'd get a little over 2 hours. Do I even go to sleep? Sometimes it's better to just pull an all-nighter. As I was debating what the best option was I noticed that the car in front of my came to an abrupt stop on the expressway, as did everyone else. I slammed on my brakes like the rest of them and was trying to figure out why I went from 70mph to 0mph in 5 seconds. Then I saw a cop car blocking traffic. He wasn't letting anyone through. "Oh no! It's a DWI stop!" I quickly thought. Had I been drinking? Yes. Was I alright to drive? Yes. But I was still nervous. I started to fumble through my bag looking for either some mints or gum to cover up any left over beer breath. I imagined him coming up to my car...."No officer, I have not been drinking," I would say. "Ok ma'am, have a good, what minty fresh breath you have!" the portly officer would say back to me. "Oh officer! You know just what to say to make a girl blush!" Then I found my mints! I began eating them as if I was shoveling handfuls of popcorn down my throat at the latest blockbuster film. I kept a watchful eye, trying to see where Officer charmer was. My mouth hurt and my throat was on fire. As it turned out it wasn't a stop at all. There has been construction going on and new overhead signs were being mounted, unfortunetly closing the expressway for a while. Aggravated that I wasted all those mints, had a rather uncomfortable sensation in my mouth and that it was well after 3:30am now I grew more and more mad at myself for staying out so late. Eventually traffic was let through and I got home a little before 4am. By the time I washed my face, brushed my teeth, had a coughing fit (I'm sure brought on from the mints) and drank some water it was 4:30. I put my head on my pillow and drifted away for one hour.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Cold Souls

While doing some harmless, but still creepy, celebrity stalking yesterday, I came across a new movie coming out rather soon. I glanced at the cast list and then thought I'd read the first two sentences of the plot (always my test to rate my interest in just about anything). I made it to sentence four or five, which is a good sign! It meant that it was worth watching the trailer. I didn't want the trailer or to end once it got started. If you loved Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation and Being John Malkovich than be prepared to have your eyes widen, you're heart to palpitate and maybe even a little forehead sweat. Paul Giamatti plays a character named Paul Giamatti in Cold Souls. Check out the site and watch the trailer.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Button Lady

I have an odd request to satisfy my never ending, sometimes quirky, imagination...buttons. As a kid I always like buttons. I remember being jealous of Dennis the Menace because he always had a button in his pocket. I guess I could of put one in my pocket, but it seemed planted and fake. The things in Dennis' pocket seemed random and non staged. Sometimes I would check my pockets at night to see if a button got in there some how before I threw my pants into the hamper. Never did happen. The word itself holds so much charm. Just say it. "Button." The charm is effortless.

So I'm writing this blog as a plea to my people. My button people. To the people that don't save anything or the people that save everything. Next time you buy a sweater or a pair of pants that comes with an extra button, don't throw it out. And if you see a button laying on the ground of a Target or one snuggling safely against the curb of the road...pick it up! Collect all the buttons you can find and donate them to me! It would put a smile on my face. Thanks guys!

Oh, and I'm really not crazy. I have ideas for these buttons. :)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

How the Flour City Brewery Festival Tried to Destroyed my Body

The Brew Fest was a blast last night! We tried almost every beer and had some more than once. At first we were a little nervous when we saw the lines, but a line filled with about 20 people lasted only 2 minutes. You waited, gave your glass to the person with a keg, said "thank you" and moved along to the next line. In line you drink what you have in your glass. Sometimes the line would go too fast and you'd have to chug your beer because it was your turn for more free, tasty beer! Oh and wine too! The place was full of happy douche bags, drunk cougars and everyone else in between. We all understood one another: get in, get out and keep moving. Surprisingly there were no fights. Just beer lovers in a world of paradise. But paradise has to end eventually right? When you're up you have to come back down.

And that's when I'm pretty sure I tried to poison my body last night with all the beer, cloves and cigarettes. I used to be able to go all night and be up by 8am feeling like a million bucks. Not so much anymore. My body has gotten used to being pampered and treated as it should. Today I feel like someone tore out my throat and everything attached to it down to my stomach, poured some ajax down it and then put it back as they found it...hopefully. I forgot why I stopped smoking while I drank, this morning I remember. And I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of today because when I talk I sound like the woman from Beetlejuice that smoked through her neck. Oh and the taste of Marlbro that is sticking to the inside of my mouth like a bumper sticker you've been trying to scrap off your car but it's just baked on there from the sun. Water. Lots of water. It's the only way I can apologize to my body for what I put it through last night.

Friday, August 14, 2009


How is this still illegal? Not too far from my cabin yesterday there was a raid. The news was nice enough to post a photo of officers surrounded by the plants like some horrible Super Troopers mockery. According to the Buffalo News, "Law enforcement officers in the Southern Tier seized 157 marijuana plants from various locations in Allegany County as part of a marijuana eradication program, the Southern Tier Regional Drug Task Force reported Wednesday." The tool reporting the news said that officers have been flying over the southern tier looking for crops and that the value of the crop in the picture was estimated at over one-million-dollars. How much does this "marijuana eradication program" cost? This program sounds like a waste of money. And not to mention the money they just threw away by busting on that crop!

Think about if the government grew their own crop and sold it to the ever yearning American public. With marijuana being "the largest cash crop in the United States, generating an estimated $36 billion market" the debt in this country would dwindle down to nearly nothing in just a few years. OK, so that would fix that what about the countless people in this country without jobs? Well, someone is going to need to take care of these crops. And growing marijuana isn't like growing grass seed. You can't just find yourself some dirt and sprinkle seeds. The plants need constant care and attention in many different aspects. Would the legalization of marijuana guarantee everyone a job in this country? No way! But there would be hundreds of thousands of job openings. And why not go even further and have it be an option for farmers! Then folks could buy locally grown dope for support (where applied of course). Green for green for green! Legalized or not, people are still going to smoke pot. If the government sold marijuana it would be a safer marijuana. Buying marijuana illegally comes with the risk of it being cross contaminated or laced with harmful drugs. There is nothing you can do when you buy laced weed. You can't go to the cops and have the dealer arrested for selling you pot that was laced with angel dust. You'll both end up in prison! The government can control and get rid of the risk, creating a purer marijuana...a fresher marijuana. And best of more schwag!

So we've solved the debt crisis and we've created jobs for the unemployed American for the nitty gritty, the health problems. Not with marijuana! In fact, (and these are facts) marijuana is a healing medicine. Studies have been made that found marijuana has been proven to treat AND prevent glaucoma, vomiting, nausea, depression, anxiety and pain associated with just about anything. Let's take a closer look at this...

What do you take when you feel nauseous? Pepto Bismol? Take away the name "Pepto Bismol" and here is what you are putting into your body: benzoic acid, flavor, magnesium aluminum silicate, methylcellulose, red 22, red 28, saccharin sodium, salicylic acid, sodium salicylate, sorbic acid, water.

Have the blues? Doctor prescribe you Zoloft? I guess what you need to make you happy is some dibasic calcium phosphate dihydrate, D & C Yellow #10 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Blue #1 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Red #40 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Blue #2 aluminum lake (in 50 mg tablet), hydroxypropyl cellulose, hypromellose, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, polyethylene glycol, polysorbate 80, sodium starch glycolate, synthetic yellow iron oxide (in 100 mg tablet), and titanium dioxide.

How about just a headache? Or maybe you pulled a muscle and need some aspirin: acetylsalicylic acid, carnauba wax, corn starch, hypromellose, powdered cellulose, triacetin.

Jesus, it's no wonder the entire world is doomed to get cancer! Look at all the chemicals we are putting into our bodies! Wouldn't you rather have a product that came from a seed that was planted in the ground? An herb. Oh, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah....ORGANIC. I'm sure that you are worried about lung cancer or other respiratory problems. There has never been a correlation between marijuana smoke and lung cancer. Studies have been made and tobacco is without a doubt causes cancer. Actually, marijuana has been proven to PREVENT lung cancer in some cases. While smoking pot is the most harmful way to take the drug, it's not the only way. Vaporizers are often sold with prescriptions of marijuana. And weed can be added to just about anything! Brownies, cookies, cakes, breads, tea, ice cream, chocolate...even butter! Marijuana can also help or prevent breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, head and neck cancers and even help with tumors. Marijuana is non-addictive and there is no withdrawal. You cannot overdose on marijuana. Again, why is this illegal? It's no wonder it's called the miracle drug.

I can't believe that marijuana is not legal for medicinal purposes. It makes no sense and it's ass backwards. It's time for the pharmaceutical companies to take a fucking hike and let the farmers take over. And who's to say that the pharmaceutical guys and gals still can't make a profit off marijuana? Just like any other kind of medicine or drug, there are many variations. Kind of like how there are different types of Tylenol out there: extra-strength, PM, migraine, etc. There are many different breads of marijuana. Some strains are more potent than others. The pharmaceutical companies could create hybrid plants that target a certain medicinal use. Another win-win situation! Doesn't it seem odd to you that the government has made a plant illegal? I sure wish they would make poison ivy illegal! They say you can die from eating a poison ivy leaf. Can't die from eating marijuana! Why in the world would they make something that grows in the ground, that can't poison you or really harm you in any way...yet cure pain?

So really, why is marijuana illegal??? A little history for you guys, if you're anything like my grandma (she always said, "let the dead rest in peace") then feel free to skip this paragraph. Why marijuana is illegal in the United States of America....according to wikipedia. The Marihuana Tax Act in 1937 is claimed to be the reason why the herb is illegal in the states. There are many people who think that the Marihuana Tax Act either isn't the only reason or just a cover. Some people think that it's because of a conflict between the paper and chemical industry that needed to keep it illegal for their best interest, or that the pharmaceutical companies needed to keep weed illegal as well for their own similar reasons, or that it was just pure American racism towards the Mexican and African immigrants that were stereotypically known for smoking pot. Maybe we were jealous of their funny cigarettes?

I touched on just about every subject pertaining to the legalization of marijuana except for one. Should marijuana be legalized for recreational use? Here's what I think. Yes. If cigarettes and alcohol are drugs used for recreational use...that can kill you, then I don't see why not marijuana can't be legalized since it doesn't kill you, of course. But if marijuana becomes illegal than it should hold similar laws to alcohol and tobacco. I do not think that one could smoke marijuana just anywhere. Like cigarettes, there should be laws created that designate smoking areas where smoking is permitted. Smoking lounges could be built, kind of like a bar for alcohol, so smokers could try homemade pot food, different kinds of marijuana and socialize just like at a bar. This would create even more jobs! Think of how many bars there are in this country! And the thing about marijuana is that it tends to make some people hungry, so why not open a smoke lounge with a kitchen to feed the happy customers! Oh and they'll be happy. Unlike alcohol, marijuana relaxes you and won't make you pick a fight for no reason with the guy next to you. However, I wouldn't want people to leave these lounges high to get behind the wheel of a car. Marijuana is still a drug and does impair judgement. There is no way, presently, to test for Marijuana immediately like a breathalyzer does for alcohol. Massachusetts recently decriminalized marijuana, so instead of going to jail you get a ticket (you pay the ticket and you're free). But when asked how the police were going to monitor the streets with high driving citizens one said, "If we pulled over someone, and we smell weed, then we have to determine if and how intoxicated this person is. We would perform the basic sobriety tests because it doesn’t matter if it’s weed or booze or whatever. If something is impairing your ability to drive and we feel it is unsafe for you to be behind the wheel, then we are going to take you in." That seems fair enough to me until a device is out there to be a little more accurate. But in all honesty? How many people have the energy to go anywhere when they are high? That's why pizza can be delivered!!!

All and all I strongly feel that marijuana should be legalized. Help the country, the economy and the people.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Follow This Twat on Twitter

Oh, and by the way, you can follow me on twitter. Please don't follow me if all you have to offer is a bad porn site....I only like the high quality ones.

Follow Me...tweet.

Big Movies and an even BIGGER time gap

I forgot for a moment...or a few years, that I had a blog!

I'd fill you in on what happened while I was away from here, but it's too depressing and long and probably rather boring. I can tell you though that I am excited about a couple films coming out in the near future. Big names are coming out with big movies and that makes me one happy girl. Tim Burton, Sam Mendes, Mike Judge, Q.T., Robert Rodriguez!!!! While I'm off dreaming, check out the movies for yourself.

Alice in Wonderland directed by Tim Burton. This is one film that I've been highly anticipating. I'm curious to see Hathoway in a Burton film, but then much as it's a Burton film, it's a Disney film. The costumes, make up, special effects all look amazing, but I'm a little concerned for the overly cartoony chesire cat. I'm hoping it's better than Charlie and the Chocolate's gotta be, right?

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus from mastermind Terry Gilliam. Heath Ledger's last film. Ledger passed away about 1/3 into filming leading into Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law to step up and take control of his character in three different perspectives. Sounds interesting. Looks fucking awesome. This is going to be insane.

Sherlock Holmes directed by Guy Ritchie. Sherlock Holmes looks a bit hokey, but I love me some Robert Downey, Jr and although the movie may be looks fun.

Away We Go directed by Sam Mendes. Seems like an odd film for Mendes, but I'm still drawn to it. Kind of like a romantic comedy...Juno style but with more adult overtones.

Halloween II written and directed by Rob Zombie. As soon as I was losing interest in the horror genre because of all the shit thats been coming out of Hollywood, Rob Zombie came along and swept me off my feet. He's earned a spot in my top directors. John Carpenter's Halloween is my all time favorite horror film. I thought Zombie did a solid job at remaking a classic and I'm stoked to see how this one came out.

9 from new director Shane Acker. Produced by Tim Burton and there's no question why. This animated film has that dark, creepy...yet comforting Burton feeling to it. Not to mention a star studded cast! Storyline seems interesting and the graphics look amazing.

Machete from mastermind Robert Rodriguez. From what started out as a mock trailer for Planet Terror, Rodriquez decided to make it the real deal. He has such a dark, gritty and creative mind...what's not to love? There are two words used in the film description that made me go goo-goo-ga-ga: SAVAGE and SLAUGHTER. ;)

Inglourious Basterds from Tarantino. Oh my, my, my. Quentin has done it again. The reviews for this movie are outstanding! I'm hoping to see this within the next week or so.

Extract written and directed by Mike Judge. Yes, Mr. Beavis and Butthead, Mike freaking Judge! Extract seems to be more like Office Space than Beavis and Butthead though. Looks hilarious and has a fun cast.

Feeling Ambitious? Read These Too! (sorry for all the LOST posts)