Sunday, November 18, 2012

Figuring Out How To Shut My Parents Up, Help Others And Pay My Bills

My mom said a lot of things to me while growing up that stuck with me. There is one thing that she used to say a lot to me that has been haunting me more so than lately, "You'll never amount to anything. You'll be living off of me and your father till you're thirty!" Well, thirty happens in April, I don't have a grown up job yet and I still get phone calls from my mom just to tell me how well my younger brothers are succeeding are life. You see, I've always been more curious about not sticking to the norms. I've argued with my parents numerous times about my beliefs and I've stuck to my guns, making my adolescence a bit rough and mostly screamed at...and grounded. We argued about everything, school, religion, food, politics, curse words. I gave up on school in middle school, just doing enough work to pass so I didn't get in trouble. I told my parents I thought the grading process was stupid and I basically only applied myself to what I thought was interesting...which from middle school on has still been minimal to date. I think the school system has gotten worse and needs a total makeover, it' s the reason I stopped halfway from getting a teaching degree. I've always been stubborn and I've especially been stubborn in life when I have to do things I don't want to do or believe in. I know it sounds childish, but I don't want to waste my time doing something I don't want to do.
I went to college to make my parents happy and to get internet in my bedroom. I didn't know what I wanted to do and I spent six years deciding what to do, I get a bill monthly for all that time. Over six years of college courses (I'm talking full semesters here people) I have an associates degrees in liberal arts, I have half the amount of credits needed for a bachelors degree in psychology, childhood education, film studies and (as of 2008, I believe) one class away from a creative writing  bachelors degree. On a job application though none of that matters, I have to mark associates degree on highest level of education. Sometimes that line from Tommy Boy comes across my mind, "Yeah, they're called doctors."
My youngest brother one time got mad at me for causing a family fight and asked why I had to be such a nonconformist. I explained to him that I couldn't help the way my brain thinks. One thing that my parents never could understand was that I didn't want a job without meaning and purpose. Sorry, but no desk job for me unless I'm saving puppies, babies or the elderly...catch my drift? Finding a job that interests me, gives back and pays my bills has been difficult, thinking of a career has honestly been just has difficult. I get sick in planes and cars so my dreams of being an astronaut and an archeologist were crushed along with anything else it seemed. One thing I've always known is that I want to be my own boss or work for someone with similar beliefs to my own. My parents would argue at this point to grow up and that isn't how life works. I in return would say fuck that and struggle until I reach my dream...and that's where I'm still at, struggling and stuck.
I've been racking my brain lately on how to prove my mom wrong, that I will amount to something, and also actually find something I want to amount to. My boyfriend and I started our own vegan baking catering business that we hope becomes successful one day, but for now we can't depend on cupcakes to pay our bills, someday but not today. I love our vegan lifestyle and I can't stress enough how much I wish I started eating and living this way years earlier. I've learned so much and I love the experimentations to "veganize" a recipe. There's definetely so much more to learn though. With that I may have finally figured out how to shut my mom up, help others and pay my bills!
Drumroll...I want to be a nutritionist! I've been looking into requirements and what it is nutritionists do and I think I'm excited. Look out world, I'm about to get you healthified. Yes, that's not a real word, that's just how healthy I'm gonna getcha...for a small fee of course, I have bills guys.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Blue Eyes Smiley Face Kathleen

I found this love note (dated 1/3/97) in an X-Files book I bought at a Salvation Army today. It was between pages 198 and 199.

Blue Eyes-
I miss you! I need to see you soon :). I am thinking of you all the time. I wish your arms were around me right now. I love you.
:) Kathleen

Besides the obvious questions...why the different color ink and pencil change? Why the bulgy, borderline creepy eyeballs on the smiley faces? I wonder if these two are still together? It would be cool to return the love note to them, if they want it back. Maybe it was just a love affair, but Kathleen meant something to Blue Eyes at some point. He kept her love note as a bookmark in probably the best piece of literature written (well, I'll let you know after I read it). Or maybe it was Kathleen's book and she wrote the note to a mystery man, with blue eyes, whom she kissed on new years and never gave him the note?! I think I'll hang on to this note for a while.

Thrift Store Treasure

Check out the awesome stuff I scored at a VOA and Salvo with my pal, VelociRachel! Six records, two choose your own adventure books, an X-Files book (with a love note included on page 199), a Pee Wee's Christmas special VHS, a Buffalo Bills 1992 AFC Champtions Mug from the Superbowl, a pair of rust colored J Crew cords and a hippie sweater to match! All for thirteen bucks and change. Veloc

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