Saturday, December 1, 2012

A rat is among us

When I first joined Blogger and Twitter I saw both as a safe place. I guess I've considered both a journal in some sense. When I first joined Twitter in 2009 I think I knew only two other people who actually had accounts. Since then I've kept my Twitter account and blog fairly anonymous, only letting a few people know my handle. I love the anonymity behind Twitter! That's part of the fun! And somehow I've managed to avoid the nasty trolls I hear about on Twitter...but I have come across a rat. Well, I have an idea who the rat is. But really there's nothing I can say to that person, I never told him/her that I wanted to keep my Twitter account anonymous and I could have made my account private.

I never wanted my Twitter or blog accounts private because I want to be heard. I hope that someone connects to what I write no matter if it's on a personal level or we just have the same sense of humor. I've always felt the black sheep throughout life (I know, wah, wah, wah). Different from the rest (I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel). I didn't feel special or better than anyone, I felt awkward and like I didn't belong. I've especially felt that way in my family, more so than middle school or when I told my family I had a cheating, abusing boyfriend and no one seemed to care. Twitter and Blogger have always been ways of expressing myself, keyword being "myself". If you've paid attention to my rantings you probably know that I curse, think farts are funny and that I feel most uneasy around a certain family member. Somehow that family member knows my handle. I feel many things, mostly naked with a slice of betrayal. I certainly don't feel safe anymore.

I know it sounds childish, but I'm hoping it means new beginnings, I've decided to start anew. This will be my last blog posting here and I will be retiring the old creepygroovy handle. Don't worry, I plan on finding a new handle and if you're lucky, I just might start to follow you. As Stevie Ray Vaughn said, "you'll know me when you see me" or something like that.

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