I've decided to start a series of blogs in which I tell you one secret about myself. I'll warn you, majority these will not be pretty. Some will be tamer than others, but will hopefully still keep your interest. Why am I dishing out secrets? Well, I'm keeping a list of things that I have done or have happened to me that I'm not exactly proud of. I live life by not letting things get to me. I like to laugh at the stupid things I have done in my life instead of thinking about how much of an idiot I truly am. And the things that happened to me, well...again, I try not to get hung up on them. I recognize that it was wrong or bad and I move on. This is a way of doing so. In a way, it's therapeutic. It's good to laugh at yourself. Oh, and please feel free to judge me...it is the internet after all and I'm sure one day this "giving away personal secrets" blog idea will be on my "not so proud" list. So here we go, Secret 1....
I first started flirting with marijuana my senior year in high school. My first time trying it was St. Patrick's Day. Three of my friends got in my car and we started driving around. We found a dark side street and parked. I had never smoked anything in my life, so one girl explained to me how to inhale.
"Have you ever used an inhaler?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Ok, well...it's just like that. Hold it in a little and let it out," she said while passing a blunt my way.
So I did. I inhaled, held it for a bit and then let it out as soon as it started to scratch my lungs. I coughed and they laughed. I thought I was going to die. The coughs were deep and actually gut-wrenching. I finally caught my breath and drank some water. The blunt came back around to me and I decided to take another try. I inhaled less and did not cough. I remember thinking that it was like a skill game; you have to let your lungs be in control...an organ you usually don't think much about controlling. I only took a few hits because I was nervous what I was going to feel and I knew I had to drive. They told me to drive around while they finished the blunt. At the time, I remember feeling fine. I didn't feel drunk or funny, so I just started driving. I was actually wondering if marijuana was hyped. I wasn't feeling anything and was kind of mad that I wasted money on nothing. Then I felt a little numb, but tingly. It felt good. I tried to play it cool.
We drove around for a while and we had another blunt in the glove compartment. I remember loud music and us shouting and laughing over it, but I can't tell you what exactly was going on in that car. I know that we were having fun though when suddenly the mood changed. Dun, dun...DUN!
Sirens came from behind us. Lots of sirens. Police cars, not fire trucks. Ok...so....FREAK OUT! I quickly learned the paranoia that came along with smoking pot. Some of us screamed, I can't remember who though...could have been me, but I just remember screaming. One of my friends in the backseat starting really losing it, she began to cry. Like the good friend I am, I started screaming at her.
"Shut the fuck up!!!" I yelled at her.
We pulled over and the cops all sped past us. As it turns out they were all going to RIT, probably to break up some college party, but it was enough to scare the shit out of us. We ditched our second blunt and decided that it was too scary to drive. We called up a friend and went to her brother's house (he lived close to where we were) and tried to sober up. None of us had ever really met this kid, but we knew that he worked with Missy Elliot and Usher. We had all wanted to meet him and this seemed like the perfect excuse.
We explained to him what had happened. He was cool enough to let us hang out until I felt comfortable to drive again. It ended up just being really awkward and quiet. We watched a kung fu movie and went home full of shame and embarrassment. I went home though with one more thing...a love for marijuana. I loved the adventure, the high and even the paranoia a little bit.
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