Thrift Store Treasure

Check out the awesome stuff I scored at a VOA and Salvo with my pal, VelociRachel! Six records, two choose your own adventure books, an X-Files book (with a love note included on page 199), a Pee Wee's Christmas special VHS, a Buffalo Bills 1992 AFC Champtions Mug from the Superbowl, a pair of rust colored J Crew cords and a hippie sweater to match! All for thirteen bucks and change. Veloc

Once You Go Black Swan...

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Cowboys, Dildos and Feathers

Over the past few days, the boy swept me off my feet and took me to see three movies. Actually we just used some giftcards we got for Christmas but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t swept off my feet. Anywho, we chose our three films wisely. The first being the John Wayne remake True Grit. Followed by the highly entertaining and charming Jackass 3D and lastly, Black Swan. (sigh) All such fine, handsome choices.

I get giddy every time I hear the Cohen brothers are making another movie. I get less giddy when I find out it’s a western. Still hopeful, we bought a slushie for six bucks and met another couple at the theatre. The movie started and it dragged on for a bit. We get it, he killed your father, you want revenge and you’re feisty too. In all honesty, all I cared about in this movie was Jeff Bridges. Although still good, I’m not so sure I agree with all the award hype that surrounds this rushed western but I’m always pulling for the Cohen brothers and especially Jeffy B.

It may not be recognized by the academy this year but we can keep our fingers crossed that Jackass 3D gets the credit it deserves. I’ve been against the 3D movement until I saw an air born white dildo flying directly at my face. I swear it honestly felt like I was about to get a dick in the eye. Or maybe it was when a party favor, blown by a fart, stretched out into the audience? Either way, the fellas nailed the 3D movie. You can only imagine what was protruding out of the screen…vomit, wieners and explosive diarrhea to name a few. But the best part about this movie was the family sitting in front of us. I wish I could have seen their kid’s faces during that entire movie.

Let me get down to it, Black Swan is the best movie I’ve seen this year (sorry Johnny Knoxville). We missed a few minutes thanks to a flustered and awkward concession stand man, but from the moment I sat down I was sucked in. The last thing I remember was that I was trying to take off my jacket, the end credits appeared and I realized I still had my coat on. I’ll tell you, there was a lot of dancing but don’t let that form your judgment on this film. It’s worth watching and you’ll see it’s impossible to keep your eyes off Natalie Portman. Aronofky sends out his message loud and clear by bringing us yet another awesomely fucked up movie that somehow gets stuck in our heads, forcing out questions and leaving us all wondering: What does Darren Aronofsky dream? Go see this film.

Figuring Out the Three Dimentions

After forming a quick opinion on the new 3-D nonsense in Hollywood I thought that I should I sit down and think about why I felt so strongly against 3-D movies becoming so mainstream and popular. I knew one thing for sure, I did not want 3-D movies to take over the film industry. I picture giant cartoon movie screens with skinny legs and arms stomping on the famous Hollywood sign while showing mediocre cinema, claiming to be three dimensional. How can you not fear and hate this three dimensional craze?! Oh and I'm sure there's some sort of condition that follows an excessive viewing of 3-D! Take a good long look at the special people in your life before your eyes begin to rot! Ok, Ok, maybe I got a little carried away, but you really can't help but wonder what the future holds for 3-D film.

Here's exactly what I want out of a 3-D movie:

1. Actual 3-D experience. I want to jump, duck and sway in my seat. Don't make me feel like I could have gotten the same satisfaction by looking at the hologram sticker on my book mark. I want to leave that theater with a dribble or two of pee in my skivvies.

2. Awesome assortment of glasses. Lenses must also be a choice. I don't want to have the same glasses as everyone else. It scares me a little. I want my glasses to suit my mood or the film. I even want the choice of black lenses or red and blue lenses, I feel like it would be an important choice. Generic styles should be offered at the theater, but different styles should be available for purchase if not at the theaters then at local stores. And of course I wouldn't mind themed glasses paired with the movie periodically.

3. Only certain movies should be allowed in 3-D. In other words, it better be a bomb-ass action flick, a slapstick comedy or some great B-movies. To make sure that the trend doesn't go overboard (like taking over Hollywood and other mischief) 3-D movies should only be shown at small cinemas and theatres...not the ones with stadium seating that's playing the new Bruce Willis film on five different screens.

And that's how I feel about 3-D movies. They should be made because they are fun and I want to have fun watching them...silly, yet interested. Is that really so much to ask for?

Everybody Has A Story

"A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later." -Stanley Kubrick


I haven't talked about any films lately. I've been spending majority of my free time catching up on some movies...mostly Oscar related films, but a few other goodies thrown into the mix. Here's a bunch of film's I've seen recently followed by a few words. :)

Julie & Julia: A cute movie...that's about all. Meryl Streep does a phenomenal job playing Julia Child, but isn't that expected? Oh and I might have developed a girl crush on Amy Adams.

District 9: I'm still not sure what to think about this movie. The aliens reminded me of Transformers. I found myself asking myself why I was watching the movie and then something cool would happen. The film was like something we had seen before but with a slight twist. We've all seen fugitive movies, so it was just like any one of those except with a few new surprises.

Cold Souls: I liked it. Reminded me of a blend between Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I guess it's more like a work of a fan of Charlie Kaufman's films...like a parody almost except no humor. The film leaves you feeling a little depressed but able to walk away with (an overplayed) good message.

Hausu (House): A terrific Japanese horror film from the 70's! Full of unnecessary nonsense and laughs. A great movie to watch with a group of friends with sick humor.

Shutter Island: A beautiful, crazy, wet film. Made to look like an old B-movie, Scorsese pulls it off! By no means his masterpiece, but still worth a look.

The Informant!: Matt Damon plays an informant for the F.B.I. (based on a true story) that takes place in the 90's. Matt Damon is hilarious but the movie drags for what seems forever.

The Hurt Locker: Beautifully done by Kathryn Bigelow. My heart was beating fast almost during the entire film. I'm usually not a fan of war movies, but this one stands out from the rest. It's a different story. The Hurt Locker is definitely taking home a few Academy Awards this year.

Alice in Wonderland (1933): I've never done acid, but if I took some before this film I'd probably be crying in the corner, sitting in a puddle of my own urine. The movie followed the books by Lewis Caroll pretty accurately for the most part except it threw in it's own "trippiness", which surprised me since it was filmed in the 30's. The costumes are amazing if you consider The Depression was going on and the studio filled them with a star studded cast! I wouldn't say the film was that good, but it was highly amusing.

Cape Fear (1991): My first time ever seeing Cape Fear and I loved it. A little rapey and crazy, but sometimes a film has to take that route to be a good film. De Niro is amazing and creepy, leaving you confused if wither you should trust him or fear him, the feeling tingles in your stomach during the movie. I would highly recommend this film...if you can handle all the creepy rape-like scenes.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant: I actually thought this movie was amusing. It had a great cast except for the cry baby tough guy...watch the movie, you'll see what I mean. The movie reminded of great adventure movies from the 80's...just a fun, predictable and thoughtless movie. :)

It's Complicated: I don't understand all the hype with this film. Was it the joints? I'm not sure and I'm even more unsure about the award nominations...

Grey Gardens: A little hard to watch at times, but such a good story about Jackie O's aunt and cousin. Drew Barrymore is outstanding. If you like A&E's Hoarders then you'll love this movie!

Fantastic Mr. Fox: Hilarious and smart with a great cast! I loved the animation and art and the characters were exactly what I wanted. There's not too many animated films that portray adults that drink, curse, fight and smoke to be the "good guys". Would I let kids watch it? I absolutely would, it's great for kids and adults. Just be prepared to explain some scenes.

An Education: I wanted to like this movie more than I did, but it was still good. I found it all a little hard to take in because of some things that I found a little inconsistent...or maybe it was just me? I did enjoy it though, I just thought some things were a little unbelievable.

Zombieland: I'm a sucker for zombie movies so of course I loved this movie! OK, so the the comedy, action, cast and the secret celebrity won me over too. Go see this if you like to laugh and watch zombie's get double tapped at the same time!

Up In The Air: I understand the hype behind this film, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with it. The movie left me depressed and bored. I thought it was predictable. Yawn.

Point Break: Another "older" movie that I hadn't seen before. I really dislike Keanu Reeve's, but this role really was prefect for him. Patrick Swayze, Nick Nolte and him made a great action flick that puts you on the edge of your seat (sorry for the cliche, but it's true!). The surfing scenes are fun too!

Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy (1976): An adult film about Alice's adventures in Wonderland while taking a journey to womanhood. The porn actually followed the books nicely and was funny. I found myself enjoying the film and considering it more of a comedy than a pornographic film...and then I saw a penis penetrate three woman from behind, one right after another.

Those are all the ones I can remember from the past two months or so. I plan on checking out Avatar, The Blind Side, A Serious Man, Crazy Heart, A Simple Man and Alice in Wonderland (2010) in 3-D before next Sunday. Stay tuned! Oscars are only a week away!!!

Stay Golden...Golden Girls

I grew up watching Golden Girls with my family and to this day I'm a huge fan of the show. The show was so smart! It looked like some good wholesome family entertainment while on mute but then with a little volume it was suddenly a racy comedy! And can you think of any other actor that you would rather see play the characters instead of Arthur, White, McCanahan, Getty...and even Stan? The casting was perfect. Unfortunately over the past few years half of the Golden Girls have passed away and Rue McCanahan (Blanche) just suffered a stroke. The Golden Girls were so much a part of my life that when I heard that Estelle Getty had cancer and then died, I was sad. I was shocked and saddened when I heard Bea Arthur died last year. And I was afraid when I heard about Rue's stroke earlier this month, I really hope for a speedy recovery. Betty White was just awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award at the SAGS last Sunday and I couldn't have been happier for her, I wish her all the luck and love I can offer.


I love me some Golden Girls and like any young girl that had a VCR in the 90's, I loved Clueless. Brittany Murphy, who played "Tai" tragically passed away from a heart attack just before Christmas. I'm pretty sure Murphy's performance in Clueless was a break through for the young actress. I guarantee you that if you a find a gal in her late 20's/early 30's that was a Brittany Murphy fan it was because of Clueless. She will surely be missed.

But on to a happier topic, imagine a world where the Golden Girls and Clueless became one. Well, sorta. Betty White, Rue McCanahan and Estelle Getty teamed up to make a short for the 1996 MTV Movie Video Awards. The combination of the two is bold and hilarious! Cher is played by Estelle Getty and adds in her usual "Sofia" old lady jokes. Dionne is played by America's Sweetheart, Betty White. At first I thought that was an odd choice, but it works! And Rue McClanahan plays Tai perfectly! It was somehow comforting to watch the ladies pretending to be high school girls. But there was still something missing...a deep voice, sarcasm, dry (and often dark) humor and a passion for long, flowing outfits...where was Dorothy? I'm not sure why Bea Arthur wasn't in the short, but I wish she was, she would have had to play Elton I guess...or (gulp)Travis.

In honor of the Golden Girls and Brittany Murphy:

The Golden Girl Clueless Parody

2010 Golden Globe Predictions

I'll keep this short and sweet since the ballot speaks for itself, but it's award season and there's nothing I love more. Some categories for the Golden Globes were tough this year! I spent a grueling, sweat producing one and a half hours on my ballot. Some hard decisions I had: Best Animated Feature Film, Best Performance by an Actor in Television Drama, Best Television Series in Comedy or Musical, Best Performance by an Actress in Television Comedy or Musical. Some other categories were especially tough since I haven't seen everything yet. So based on what I saw and some well thought out guesses, I give you...(drum roll)...my 2010 Golden Globe predictions!

Nominated Movies I've Seen:
Inglourious Basterds
An Education
Invictus
(500) Days of Summer
The Hangover
It's Complicated
Julie & Julia
The Proposal
Sherlock Holmes
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox

Nominated Television I Watch:
Dexter
Mad Men
30 Rock
Glee
Modern Family
The Office
United States of Tara
Nurse Jackie
Californication
Hung (I only saw the first half and didn't care for it too much)
Lost
How I Met Your Mother

Oh and I own and love the Where The Wild Things Are Soundtrack :)

Hausu

After many hours of drinking and what have you, I purchased this movie on DVD last night. I don't even know what to say, I'm completely speechless. Watch the trailer and you'll understand.

Cold Souls

While doing some harmless, but still creepy, celebrity stalking yesterday, I came across a new movie coming out rather soon. I glanced at the cast list and then thought I'd read the first two sentences of the plot (always my test to rate my interest in just about anything). I made it to sentence four or five, which is a good sign! It meant that it was worth watching the trailer. I didn't want the trailer or to end once it got started. If you loved Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation and Being John Malkovich than be prepared to have your eyes widen, you're heart to palpitate and maybe even a little forehead sweat. Paul Giamatti plays a character named Paul Giamatti in Cold Souls. Check out the site and watch the trailer.

Lost Cinema

I'm having difficulty finding a good movie lately. It's not that great films aren't made anymore, but there are too many people making bad movies right now that the good ones are being suffocated with reels of nonsense. What's even more frustrating than the search of a better than average flick are the people that are so used to the garbage being put out there that they are actually enjoying it! I'm don't want to watch the best movie produced every Friday night, but something worth watching every now and then would be satisfying. Another problem that I have been having is trying to get my hands on some of the greats through rentals. I belong to Blockbuster Online. I love being a member. I have my movies shipped to my house. After I watch them I can walk one block to Blockbuster and return my movie for a free in store rental. It's reasonable, convenient, and basically brilliant. With all the benefits that Blockbuster has to offer, I can not rent whatever I want. They do not offer every movie ever made. I don't expect them to, but when there are more than ten copies of Stomp the Yard on the shelf and not one Pink Flamingos copy in the store or online I become worried. I would love to recommend you to rent Pink Flamingos, but you are going to have to find a place a little more obscure. Sure John Waters is a little different and the film is a little vulgar, but in my opinion it's really a good film. It's great to go out and watch a mindless, fun film once in a while. I own a few, but Blockbuster and the rest of the world seem to be consumed with these movies. But anything with a commercial nowadays makes the population go goo-goo. It must be worth seeing if they can afford a trailer on television! All I would like to see is the community of movie renters to bypass the wall filled with the latest hit and read the back of the lonely copy next to it. It could be the worst movie you ever saw or it could become your next favorite film. Take a gamble. Gambling never hurt anyone, right?