Once You Go Black Swan...

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Cowboys, Dildos and Feathers

Over the past few days, the boy swept me off my feet and took me to see three movies. Actually we just used some giftcards we got for Christmas but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t swept off my feet. Anywho, we chose our three films wisely. The first being the John Wayne remake True Grit. Followed by the highly entertaining and charming Jackass 3D and lastly, Black Swan. (sigh) All such fine, handsome choices.

I get giddy every time I hear the Cohen brothers are making another movie. I get less giddy when I find out it’s a western. Still hopeful, we bought a slushie for six bucks and met another couple at the theatre. The movie started and it dragged on for a bit. We get it, he killed your father, you want revenge and you’re feisty too. In all honesty, all I cared about in this movie was Jeff Bridges. Although still good, I’m not so sure I agree with all the award hype that surrounds this rushed western but I’m always pulling for the Cohen brothers and especially Jeffy B.

It may not be recognized by the academy this year but we can keep our fingers crossed that Jackass 3D gets the credit it deserves. I’ve been against the 3D movement until I saw an air born white dildo flying directly at my face. I swear it honestly felt like I was about to get a dick in the eye. Or maybe it was when a party favor, blown by a fart, stretched out into the audience? Either way, the fellas nailed the 3D movie. You can only imagine what was protruding out of the screen…vomit, wieners and explosive diarrhea to name a few. But the best part about this movie was the family sitting in front of us. I wish I could have seen their kid’s faces during that entire movie.

Let me get down to it, Black Swan is the best movie I’ve seen this year (sorry Johnny Knoxville). We missed a few minutes thanks to a flustered and awkward concession stand man, but from the moment I sat down I was sucked in. The last thing I remember was that I was trying to take off my jacket, the end credits appeared and I realized I still had my coat on. I’ll tell you, there was a lot of dancing but don’t let that form your judgment on this film. It’s worth watching and you’ll see it’s impossible to keep your eyes off Natalie Portman. Aronofky sends out his message loud and clear by bringing us yet another awesomely fucked up movie that somehow gets stuck in our heads, forcing out questions and leaving us all wondering: What does Darren Aronofsky dream? Go see this film.

Big Movies and an even BIGGER time gap

I forgot for a moment...or a few years, that I had a blog!

I'd fill you in on what happened while I was away from here, but it's too depressing and long and probably rather boring. I can tell you though that I am excited about a couple films coming out in the near future. Big names are coming out with big movies and that makes me one happy girl. Tim Burton, Sam Mendes, Mike Judge, Q.T., Robert Rodriguez!!!! While I'm off dreaming, check out the movies for yourself.

Alice in Wonderland directed by Tim Burton. This is one film that I've been highly anticipating. I'm curious to see Hathoway in a Burton film, but then again...as much as it's a Burton film, it's a Disney film. The costumes, make up, special effects all look amazing, but I'm a little concerned for the overly cartoony chesire cat. I'm hoping it's better than Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...it's gotta be, right?

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus from mastermind Terry Gilliam. Heath Ledger's last film. Ledger passed away about 1/3 into filming leading into Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law to step up and take control of his character in three different perspectives. Sounds interesting. Looks fucking awesome. This is going to be insane.

Sherlock Holmes directed by Guy Ritchie. Sherlock Holmes looks a bit hokey, but I love me some Robert Downey, Jr and although the movie may be cheesy...it looks fun.

Away We Go directed by Sam Mendes. Seems like an odd film for Mendes, but I'm still drawn to it. Kind of like a romantic comedy...Juno style but with more adult overtones.

Halloween II written and directed by Rob Zombie. As soon as I was losing interest in the horror genre because of all the shit thats been coming out of Hollywood, Rob Zombie came along and swept me off my feet. He's earned a spot in my top directors. John Carpenter's Halloween is my all time favorite horror film. I thought Zombie did a solid job at remaking a classic and I'm stoked to see how this one came out.

9 from new director Shane Acker. Produced by Tim Burton and there's no question why. This animated film has that dark, creepy...yet comforting Burton feeling to it. Not to mention a star studded cast! Storyline seems interesting and the graphics look amazing.

Machete from mastermind Robert Rodriguez. From what started out as a mock trailer for Planet Terror, Rodriquez decided to make it the real deal. He has such a dark, gritty and creative mind...what's not to love? There are two words used in the film description that made me go goo-goo-ga-ga: SAVAGE and SLAUGHTER. ;)

Inglourious Basterds from Tarantino. Oh my, my, my. Quentin has done it again. The reviews for this movie are outstanding! I'm hoping to see this within the next week or so.

Extract written and directed by Mike Judge. Yes, Mr. Beavis and Butthead, Mike freaking Judge! Extract seems to be more like Office Space than Beavis and Butthead though. Looks hilarious and has a fun cast.

Lost Cinema

I'm having difficulty finding a good movie lately. It's not that great films aren't made anymore, but there are too many people making bad movies right now that the good ones are being suffocated with reels of nonsense. What's even more frustrating than the search of a better than average flick are the people that are so used to the garbage being put out there that they are actually enjoying it! I'm don't want to watch the best movie produced every Friday night, but something worth watching every now and then would be satisfying. Another problem that I have been having is trying to get my hands on some of the greats through rentals. I belong to Blockbuster Online. I love being a member. I have my movies shipped to my house. After I watch them I can walk one block to Blockbuster and return my movie for a free in store rental. It's reasonable, convenient, and basically brilliant. With all the benefits that Blockbuster has to offer, I can not rent whatever I want. They do not offer every movie ever made. I don't expect them to, but when there are more than ten copies of Stomp the Yard on the shelf and not one Pink Flamingos copy in the store or online I become worried. I would love to recommend you to rent Pink Flamingos, but you are going to have to find a place a little more obscure. Sure John Waters is a little different and the film is a little vulgar, but in my opinion it's really a good film. It's great to go out and watch a mindless, fun film once in a while. I own a few, but Blockbuster and the rest of the world seem to be consumed with these movies. But anything with a commercial nowadays makes the population go goo-goo. It must be worth seeing if they can afford a trailer on television! All I would like to see is the community of movie renters to bypass the wall filled with the latest hit and read the back of the lonely copy next to it. It could be the worst movie you ever saw or it could become your next favorite film. Take a gamble. Gambling never hurt anyone, right?