It would be an understatement to say that I've been stressed. We move into a house at the end of the month to take over my mom's mortgage and I work 2-3 days a week and can't seem to find even a shitty job to pay the bills. A few weeks ago I found out that I have a leak in my brake line, then a few days later someone sideswiped my car overnight (in the driveway!!!!!!!) and then just a few days after that I got into a car accident...totaling my car. I still drive it but limited, just to work. We've been walking everywhere since. I don't have collision on my car and the damage is more than the car. Guess I can stop complaining about gas prices. Since I can't find any work and I need money, I agreed to work for a catering company when they have events, weddings and what have yous. I'll be the degraded asshole in a bow tie filling up your water. It's going to have to do until I find something more stable or gauge my eyes out. I've applied for well over 30 jobs.
We tried escaping reality for a night by going down to my family's cabin near Letchworth State Park but ended up having a horrible time due to stupid drunk drama. We weren't drunk, we shared one beer by the fire, and were being taunted all night. All we wanted was one night to forget our troubles and instead more trouble came to us. It's a lesson learned, if we want piece and quiet...don't let the family know you are going to the cabin. If it was up to me I'd make them all disappear Home Alone style. Luckily, one of them disappeared overnight after driving (drunk, remind you) to her mom's house around 5am. I'm glad no one was hurt although I wish her stupid ass would have ended up in a ditch or with a DWI to teach a lesson. It's not fucking cool to drive drunk, especially over a facebook message. Yes, a facebook message. Time to grow the fuck up, there are worse problems in the world...I wish a facebook message was my biggest problem.
Sobriety is especially tough after the weekend at the cabin. The weekend added more stress and I still can't get it out of my mind. I miss smoking. I quit in hopes of finding a job and not failing a drug test. I'm on day 4 and I've noticed the changes on day 2. I'm easily annoyed, tired during the day, awake at night, I'm depressed and my mind won't stop whirling. I hate it. I feel crazy all the time. Sure, it might get better but I remember feeling this way a few years ago when I quit for a few years. It sucked and I hated my life. I had horrible thoughts and feelings and relied heavily on booze. I don't want to drink again. I like having one or two drinks every few months or so with friends but I really have no interest in drinking again. Which makes me angry that I may not get hired for smoking pot. I'm not going to smoke before or during work so what does it matter what I do on my free time? It really angers me that something that keeps me happy and balanced can be the determining factor of getting a job or not. I refuse to take any medication to aid with depression and be turned into a pharmaceutical junkie. Alcoholics are lucky.
Throughout everything my boyfriend has been incredible. He's been amazing and nothing but supportive. I know it's cliche, but I honestly don't know what I would do without him. Every day since the spring has been a challenge for me, I can't seem to catch a break, and have been in quite the depressed slump. But there he is, constantly trying to make my life easier. Nobody has ever made me feel so special. I am so incredibly in love with that man and everyday he finds a different way to help me and love me. I love you, J.
Showing posts with label pot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pot. Show all posts
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Can't Read My Polka Face
Yesterday I experienced my first Dyngus Day at Buffalo Central Terminal and The Adam Mickiewicz Library with my family and my love. Click on the links for more info on Dyngus Day and the history behind the two places we visited. But in a nutshell, think of Dyngus Day in Buffalo like a Polish St. Patrick's Day celebration. It's unreal! I hadn't been in either place before but I was so excited about going into the terminal! I wish there weren't so many cops around so we could sneak off and explore the rest of the terminal but just being in the main area of the building, even though it is completely run down, was breathtaking. Yes, even with non stop polka music from Those Idiots. I've had Polka Face in my head all day.
My mom found a picture of me and the boy on buffalo.com and I found us in the background of a buffalo news video too! Unfortunately, I can't find any footage of me sticking out my tongue in a lewd fashion behind my mom as she got interviewed from another news channel. Speaking of, more bad news: I forgot my camera. But thank goodness for cellphones! I was able to snap a few (crappy) photos inside Buffalo Central Terminal.
My mom found a picture of me and the boy on buffalo.com and I found us in the background of a buffalo news video too! Unfortunately, I can't find any footage of me sticking out my tongue in a lewd fashion behind my mom as she got interviewed from another news channel. Speaking of, more bad news: I forgot my camera. But thank goodness for cellphones! I was able to snap a few (crappy) photos inside Buffalo Central Terminal.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Hobo Clown & Forest
I never heard of Allison Schulnik until last night when a friend told me about a claymation music video for the band Grizzly Bear. I just checked out the video (or short) tonight and not only is the song cool, but the visual is even better. I remember liking the song but I can't tell you what it sounded like because I was too engrossed in the video.
Forest
I look forward to what Schulnick does in the future, after watching "Forest" I'm a new fan. I swoon over the eyes.
Hobo Clown
Forest
Forest from Guernica Magazine on Vimeo.
I look forward to what Schulnick does in the future, after watching "Forest" I'm a new fan. I swoon over the eyes.
Hobo Clown
Hobo Clown from Guernica Magazine on Vimeo.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Marijuana
How is this still illegal? Not too far from my cabin yesterday there was a raid. The news was nice enough to post a photo of officers surrounded by the plants like some horrible Super Troopers mockery. According to the Buffalo News, "Law enforcement officers in the Southern Tier seized 157 marijuana plants from various locations in Allegany County as part of a marijuana eradication program, the Southern Tier Regional Drug Task Force reported Wednesday." The tool reporting the news said that officers have been flying over the southern tier looking for crops and that the value of the crop in the picture was estimated at over one-million-dollars. How much does this "marijuana eradication program" cost? This program sounds like a waste of money. And not to mention the money they just threw away by busting on that crop!
Think about if the government grew their own crop and sold it to the ever yearning American public. With marijuana being "the largest cash crop in the United States, generating an estimated $36 billion market" the debt in this country would dwindle down to nearly nothing in just a few years. OK, so that would fix that problem...now what about the countless people in this country without jobs? Well, someone is going to need to take care of these crops. And growing marijuana isn't like growing grass seed. You can't just find yourself some dirt and sprinkle seeds. The plants need constant care and attention in many different aspects. Would the legalization of marijuana guarantee everyone a job in this country? No way! But there would be hundreds of thousands of job openings. And why not go even further and have it be an option for farmers! Then folks could buy locally grown dope for support (where applied of course). Green for green for green! Legalized or not, people are still going to smoke pot. If the government sold marijuana it would be a safer marijuana. Buying marijuana illegally comes with the risk of it being cross contaminated or laced with harmful drugs. There is nothing you can do when you buy laced weed. You can't go to the cops and have the dealer arrested for selling you pot that was laced with angel dust. You'll both end up in prison! The government can control and get rid of the risk, creating a purer marijuana...a fresher marijuana. And best of all...no more schwag!
So we've solved the debt crisis and we've created jobs for the unemployed American people...now for the nitty gritty, the health problems. Not with marijuana! In fact, (and these are facts) marijuana is a healing medicine. Studies have been made that found marijuana has been proven to treat AND prevent glaucoma, vomiting, nausea, depression, anxiety and pain associated with just about anything. Let's take a closer look at this...
What do you take when you feel nauseous? Pepto Bismol? Take away the name "Pepto Bismol" and here is what you are putting into your body: benzoic acid, flavor, magnesium aluminum silicate, methylcellulose, red 22, red 28, saccharin sodium, salicylic acid, sodium salicylate, sorbic acid, water.
Have the blues? Doctor prescribe you Zoloft? I guess what you need to make you happy is some dibasic calcium phosphate dihydrate, D & C Yellow #10 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Blue #1 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Red #40 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Blue #2 aluminum lake (in 50 mg tablet), hydroxypropyl cellulose, hypromellose, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, polyethylene glycol, polysorbate 80, sodium starch glycolate, synthetic yellow iron oxide (in 100 mg tablet), and titanium dioxide.
How about just a headache? Or maybe you pulled a muscle and need some aspirin: acetylsalicylic acid, carnauba wax, corn starch, hypromellose, powdered cellulose, triacetin.
Jesus, it's no wonder the entire world is doomed to get cancer! Look at all the chemicals we are putting into our bodies! Wouldn't you rather have a product that came from a seed that was planted in the ground? An herb. Oh, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah....ORGANIC. I'm sure that you are worried about lung cancer or other respiratory problems. There has never been a correlation between marijuana smoke and lung cancer. Studies have been made and tobacco is without a doubt causes cancer. Actually, marijuana has been proven to PREVENT lung cancer in some cases. While smoking pot is the most harmful way to take the drug, it's not the only way. Vaporizers are often sold with prescriptions of marijuana. And weed can be added to just about anything! Brownies, cookies, cakes, breads, tea, ice cream, chocolate...even butter! Marijuana can also help or prevent breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, head and neck cancers and even help with tumors. Marijuana is non-addictive and there is no withdrawal. You cannot overdose on marijuana. Again, why is this illegal? It's no wonder it's called the miracle drug.
I can't believe that marijuana is not legal for medicinal purposes. It makes no sense and it's ass backwards. It's time for the pharmaceutical companies to take a fucking hike and let the farmers take over. And who's to say that the pharmaceutical guys and gals still can't make a profit off marijuana? Just like any other kind of medicine or drug, there are many variations. Kind of like how there are different types of Tylenol out there: extra-strength, PM, migraine, etc. There are many different breads of marijuana. Some strains are more potent than others. The pharmaceutical companies could create hybrid plants that target a certain medicinal use. Another win-win situation! Doesn't it seem odd to you that the government has made a plant illegal? I sure wish they would make poison ivy illegal! They say you can die from eating a poison ivy leaf. Can't die from eating marijuana! Why in the world would they make something that grows in the ground, that can't poison you or really harm you in any way...yet cure pain?
Think about if the government grew their own crop and sold it to the ever yearning American public. With marijuana being "the largest cash crop in the United States, generating an estimated $36 billion market" the debt in this country would dwindle down to nearly nothing in just a few years. OK, so that would fix that problem...now what about the countless people in this country without jobs? Well, someone is going to need to take care of these crops. And growing marijuana isn't like growing grass seed. You can't just find yourself some dirt and sprinkle seeds. The plants need constant care and attention in many different aspects. Would the legalization of marijuana guarantee everyone a job in this country? No way! But there would be hundreds of thousands of job openings. And why not go even further and have it be an option for farmers! Then folks could buy locally grown dope for support (where applied of course). Green for green for green! Legalized or not, people are still going to smoke pot. If the government sold marijuana it would be a safer marijuana. Buying marijuana illegally comes with the risk of it being cross contaminated or laced with harmful drugs. There is nothing you can do when you buy laced weed. You can't go to the cops and have the dealer arrested for selling you pot that was laced with angel dust. You'll both end up in prison! The government can control and get rid of the risk, creating a purer marijuana...a fresher marijuana. And best of all...no more schwag!
So we've solved the debt crisis and we've created jobs for the unemployed American people...now for the nitty gritty, the health problems. Not with marijuana! In fact, (and these are facts) marijuana is a healing medicine. Studies have been made that found marijuana has been proven to treat AND prevent glaucoma, vomiting, nausea, depression, anxiety and pain associated with just about anything. Let's take a closer look at this...
What do you take when you feel nauseous? Pepto Bismol? Take away the name "Pepto Bismol" and here is what you are putting into your body: benzoic acid, flavor, magnesium aluminum silicate, methylcellulose, red 22, red 28, saccharin sodium, salicylic acid, sodium salicylate, sorbic acid, water.
Have the blues? Doctor prescribe you Zoloft? I guess what you need to make you happy is some dibasic calcium phosphate dihydrate, D & C Yellow #10 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Blue #1 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Red #40 aluminum lake (in 25 mg tablet), FD & C Blue #2 aluminum lake (in 50 mg tablet), hydroxypropyl cellulose, hypromellose, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, polyethylene glycol, polysorbate 80, sodium starch glycolate, synthetic yellow iron oxide (in 100 mg tablet), and titanium dioxide.
How about just a headache? Or maybe you pulled a muscle and need some aspirin: acetylsalicylic acid, carnauba wax, corn starch, hypromellose, powdered cellulose, triacetin.
Jesus, it's no wonder the entire world is doomed to get cancer! Look at all the chemicals we are putting into our bodies! Wouldn't you rather have a product that came from a seed that was planted in the ground? An herb. Oh, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah....ORGANIC. I'm sure that you are worried about lung cancer or other respiratory problems. There has never been a correlation between marijuana smoke and lung cancer. Studies have been made and tobacco is without a doubt causes cancer. Actually, marijuana has been proven to PREVENT lung cancer in some cases. While smoking pot is the most harmful way to take the drug, it's not the only way. Vaporizers are often sold with prescriptions of marijuana. And weed can be added to just about anything! Brownies, cookies, cakes, breads, tea, ice cream, chocolate...even butter! Marijuana can also help or prevent breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, head and neck cancers and even help with tumors. Marijuana is non-addictive and there is no withdrawal. You cannot overdose on marijuana. Again, why is this illegal? It's no wonder it's called the miracle drug.
I can't believe that marijuana is not legal for medicinal purposes. It makes no sense and it's ass backwards. It's time for the pharmaceutical companies to take a fucking hike and let the farmers take over. And who's to say that the pharmaceutical guys and gals still can't make a profit off marijuana? Just like any other kind of medicine or drug, there are many variations. Kind of like how there are different types of Tylenol out there: extra-strength, PM, migraine, etc. There are many different breads of marijuana. Some strains are more potent than others. The pharmaceutical companies could create hybrid plants that target a certain medicinal use. Another win-win situation! Doesn't it seem odd to you that the government has made a plant illegal? I sure wish they would make poison ivy illegal! They say you can die from eating a poison ivy leaf. Can't die from eating marijuana! Why in the world would they make something that grows in the ground, that can't poison you or really harm you in any way...yet cure pain?
So really, why is marijuana illegal??? A little history for you guys, if you're anything like my grandma (she always said, "let the dead rest in peace") then feel free to skip this paragraph. Why marijuana is illegal in the United States of America....according to wikipedia. The Marihuana Tax Act in 1937 is claimed to be the reason why the herb is illegal in the states. There are many people who think that the Marihuana Tax Act either isn't the only reason or just a cover. Some people think that it's because of a conflict between the paper and chemical industry that needed to keep it illegal for their best interest, or that the pharmaceutical companies needed to keep weed illegal as well for their own similar reasons, or that it was just pure American racism towards the Mexican and African immigrants that were stereotypically known for smoking pot. Maybe we were jealous of their funny cigarettes?
I touched on just about every subject pertaining to the legalization of marijuana except for one. Should marijuana be legalized for recreational use? Here's what I think. Yes. If cigarettes and alcohol are drugs used for recreational use...that can kill you, then I don't see why not marijuana can't be legalized since it doesn't kill you, of course. But if marijuana becomes illegal than it should hold similar laws to alcohol and tobacco. I do not think that one could smoke marijuana just anywhere. Like cigarettes, there should be laws created that designate smoking areas where smoking is permitted. Smoking lounges could be built, kind of like a bar for alcohol, so smokers could try homemade pot food, different kinds of marijuana and socialize just like at a bar. This would create even more jobs! Think of how many bars there are in this country! And the thing about marijuana is that it tends to make some people hungry, so why not open a smoke lounge with a kitchen to feed the happy customers! Oh and they'll be happy. Unlike alcohol, marijuana relaxes you and won't make you pick a fight for no reason with the guy next to you. However, I wouldn't want people to leave these lounges high to get behind the wheel of a car. Marijuana is still a drug and does impair judgement. There is no way, presently, to test for Marijuana immediately like a breathalyzer does for alcohol. Massachusetts recently decriminalized marijuana, so instead of going to jail you get a ticket (you pay the ticket and you're free). But when asked how the police were going to monitor the streets with high driving citizens one said, "If we pulled over someone, and we smell weed, then we have to determine if and how intoxicated this person is. We would perform the basic sobriety tests because it doesn’t matter if it’s weed or booze or whatever. If something is impairing your ability to drive and we feel it is unsafe for you to be behind the wheel, then we are going to take you in." That seems fair enough to me until a device is out there to be a little more accurate. But in all honesty? How many people have the energy to go anywhere when they are high? That's why pizza can be delivered!!!
All and all I strongly feel that marijuana should be legalized. Help the country, the economy and the people.
BAN POISON IVY!!!!!!! BAN POISON IVY!!!!!!!!
I touched on just about every subject pertaining to the legalization of marijuana except for one. Should marijuana be legalized for recreational use? Here's what I think. Yes. If cigarettes and alcohol are drugs used for recreational use...that can kill you, then I don't see why not marijuana can't be legalized since it doesn't kill you, of course. But if marijuana becomes illegal than it should hold similar laws to alcohol and tobacco. I do not think that one could smoke marijuana just anywhere. Like cigarettes, there should be laws created that designate smoking areas where smoking is permitted. Smoking lounges could be built, kind of like a bar for alcohol, so smokers could try homemade pot food, different kinds of marijuana and socialize just like at a bar. This would create even more jobs! Think of how many bars there are in this country! And the thing about marijuana is that it tends to make some people hungry, so why not open a smoke lounge with a kitchen to feed the happy customers! Oh and they'll be happy. Unlike alcohol, marijuana relaxes you and won't make you pick a fight for no reason with the guy next to you. However, I wouldn't want people to leave these lounges high to get behind the wheel of a car. Marijuana is still a drug and does impair judgement. There is no way, presently, to test for Marijuana immediately like a breathalyzer does for alcohol. Massachusetts recently decriminalized marijuana, so instead of going to jail you get a ticket (you pay the ticket and you're free). But when asked how the police were going to monitor the streets with high driving citizens one said, "If we pulled over someone, and we smell weed, then we have to determine if and how intoxicated this person is. We would perform the basic sobriety tests because it doesn’t matter if it’s weed or booze or whatever. If something is impairing your ability to drive and we feel it is unsafe for you to be behind the wheel, then we are going to take you in." That seems fair enough to me until a device is out there to be a little more accurate. But in all honesty? How many people have the energy to go anywhere when they are high? That's why pizza can be delivered!!!
All and all I strongly feel that marijuana should be legalized. Help the country, the economy and the people.
BAN POISON IVY!!!!!!! BAN POISON IVY!!!!!!!!
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